Buddhist Jokes

 

Q: Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners?

A: Because they don't have any attachments.

 

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Q: Did you hear about the new low-fat Buddhist Path?

A: "I Cant Believe Its Not Buddha"

 

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Q: How do you describe a schizophrenic Zen Buddhist?

A: A man who is at "Two" with the Universe!

 

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Q: What happens when a Buddhist becomes

totally absorbed with the computer he is working with?

A: He enters Nerdvana.

 

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Q. What did the sign in the monastery

searching for new monks say?

A. Inquire within!

 

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Zen Student: “Is it okay to use email?”

Zen Master: “Yes, but with no attachments.”

 

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Zen Master: "Question everything!"

Zen student: "Why?"

 

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Zen Master: "You seem to be in a constant state of denial."

Student: "No I'm not."

 

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One Buddhist monk leaned over to another and quietly asked,

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

 

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Buddhist monk contemplating reality:

 

"If there is no self, then whose arthritis is this?"

 

"I know nothing . . . And I'm not even sure of that?"

 

"Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this, and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of my problems."

 

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A Matter of Perspective

 

A student is on one side of a raging river. There are no bridges. He has no boat. He shouts out to the master on the opposite bank. “How do I get to the other side?” The master shouts back: “You are on the other side.”

 

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Monk Transportation

 

My husband and sons and I had stopped to take in a spectacular sunset and were on our way back to our car when four Buddhist monks dressed in orange robes walked by. When our sons asked about them, I explained, "Their life is a quest for enlightenment."

"I wonder what kind of car they drive," my husband said, and jokingly suggested, "a Ford Focus?"

"Or a Honda Odyssey," I said.

The monks got into a Pathfinder.

 

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A Zen Master Orders a Pizza

 

The Zen master walks into the pizza shop. "What toppings would you like on your pizza?", the guy behind the counter asks. The Zen Master replies with a blissful, faraway look on his face: "Make me one with everything."

When it's ready the guy hands the box with the pizza to the Zen master, who in turn pays with a $50 bill.  Without giving the Master any change the pizza guy simply puts the $50 bill in the cash register.

"Where's my change?" asks the puzzled Zen master.

The pizza guy thoughtfully strokes his beard, gazes towards the sky, and kindly responds: "Change comes from within."

 

 

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For more happy, sweet, innocent spiritual jokes

please check out the links below:

 

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(Back to the "Introduction to Spiritual Humor")

 

Christian Jokes

 

New Age Jokes

 

Human Resources Bulletin

 

A Child Explains GOD